Jerry Lundegaard:
[talking to Carl on the phone] Now, we had a deal. A deal's a deal.
Carl Showalter:
Is it, Jerry? Why don't you ask those three poor souls in Brainerd if a deal's a deal. Go ahead, ask them!
Jerry Lundegaard:
The heck do ya mean?
Carl Showalter:
[mimicking Jerry mockingly] "The heckya mean?"


[repeated line]
Jerry Lundegaard:
The heck do ya mean?


Jerry Lundegaard:
[answering the phone] Jerry Lundegaard.
Carl Showalter:
Alright, Jerry, you got the phone to yourself?
Jerry Lundegaard:
Well, yeah.
Carl Showalter:
You know who this is?
Jerry Lundegaard:
Well, yeah, I got an idea. How's that Ciera working out for ya?
Carl Showalter:
Circumstances have changed, Jerry.
Jerry Lundegaard:
Well, what do ya mean?
Carl Showalter:
Thing have changed, circumstances, Jerry, beyond the... uh, acts of god.
Jerry Lundegaard:
How's Jean?
Carl Showalter:
[puzzled] Who's Jean?
Jerry Lundegaard:
My wife! What the-?
Carl Showalter:
Oh, she's alright, but there's a few people in Brainerd who aren't so okay, I'll tell you that.
Jerry Lundegaard:
What the heck are ya talking about? Let's just finish this deal up here.
Carl Showalter:
Blood has been shed, Jerry.
Jerry Lundegaard:
What the heck do ya mean?
Carl Showalter:
Three people, in Brainerd.
Jerry Lundegaard:
Oh, jeez.
Carl Showalter:
That's right, we need more money.
Jerry Lundegaard:
What the heck are ya talking about? What do you fellas have yourself mixed up in?
Carl Showalter:
We need more money...
Jerry Lundegaard:
[interrupting] This was supposed to be a no rough stuff type deal!
Carl Showalter:
[angry] DON'T EVER INTERRUPT ME, JERRY, JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Jerry Lundegaard:
Well, I'm sorry, but I just- I don't...
Carl Showalter:
I'm not gonna debate you, Jerry! I'm not gonna debate! We now want the entire 80,000!
Jerry Lundegaard:
Oh, for chris'sake here!


Jerry Lundegaard:
I told ya. We haven't had any vehicles go missing.
Marge Gunderson:
Okay! But are ya sure? 'Cause I mean, how do you know? Do you do a count, or what kind of a routine do you have here?
Jerry Lundegaard:
[growing uncomfortable with this questioning] Ma'am, I answered your question!
Marge Gunderson:
[long pause] I'm sorry, sir?
Jerry Lundegaard:
Ma'am, I answered your question. I answered the darned... I'm cooperatin' here!
Marge Gunderson:
Sir, you have no call to get snippy with me, I'm just doing my job here.
Jerry Lundegaard:
I'm... I'm not arguing here! I'm cooperating. So there's no need to... we're doin' all we can here.
Marge Gunderson:
Sir, could I talk to Mr. Gustafson?
[Jerry gives her a glassy-eyed look, knowing full well that Gustafson is dead]
Marge Gunderson:
Mr. Lundegaard?


Mr. Mohra:
So, I'm tendin' bar there at Ecklund and Swedlin's last Tuesday, and this little guy's drinkin' and he says, "So where can a guy find some action? I'm goin' crazy out there at the lake." And I says, "What kinda action?" and he says, "Woman action, what do I look like?" And I says, "Well, what do I look like, I don't arrange that kinda thing," and he says, "I'm goin' crazy out there at the lake," and I says, "Well, this ain't that kinda place."
Officer Olson:
Uh-huh.
Mr. Mohra:
So he says, "So I get it, so you think I'm some kinda jerk for askin'," only he doesn't use the word "jerk."
Officer Olson:
I understand.
Mr. Mohra:
And then he calls me a jerk, and says the last guy who thought he was a jerk was dead now. So I don't say nothin' and he says, "What do ya think about that?" So I says, "Well, that don't sound like too good a deal for him, then."
Officer Olson:
Ya got that right.
Mr. Mohra:
And he says, "Yah, that guy's dead, and I don't mean of old age." And then he says, "Geez, I'm goin' crazy out there at the lake."
Officer Olson:
White Bear Lake?
Mr. Mohra:
Well, Ecklund & Swedlin's, that's closer ta Moose Lake, so I made that assumption.
Officer Olson:
Oh sure.
Mr. Mohra:
So, ya know, he's drinkin', so I don't think a whole great deal of it, but Mrs. Mohra heard about the homicides down here and she thought I should call it in, so I called it in... End o' story.
Officer Olson:
What'd this guy look like, anyway?
Mr. Mohra:
Oh, he was a little guy... Kinda funny lookin'.
Officer Olson:
Uh-huh. In what way?
Mr. Mohra:
Oh, just in a general kinda way.


Marge Gunderson:
[reporting over her police radio] There's the car! There's the car!
Lou:
What car?
Marge Gunderson:
My car, my car! Tan Ciera, tan Ciera!


[first lines]
Jerry Lundegaard:
I'm, uh, Jerry Lundegaard.
Carl Showalter:
You're Jerry Lundegaard?
Jerry Lundegaard:
Ya. Shep Proudfoot said...
Carl Showalter:
Shep said you'd be here at 7:30. What gives, man?
Jerry Lundegaard:
Shep said 8:30.
Carl Showalter:
We've been sitting here an hour. He's
[motioning to Gaer]
Carl Showalter:
peed three times already.
Jerry Lundegaard:
I'm sure sorry. Shep told me 8:30. It was a mix-up, I guess.


[last lines]
Norm Gunderson:
[rubbing Margie's pregnant stomach] Two more months.
Marge Gunderson:
[smiling] Two more months.


Carl Showalter:
You know, it's proven that second-hand smoke is, uh, carcin-... uh, you know, cancer related.


Marge Gunderson:
So that was Mrs. Lundegaard on the floor in there. And I guess that was your accomplice in the wood chipper. And those three people in Brainerd. And for what? For a little bit of money. There's more to life than a little money, you know. Don'tcha know that? And here ya are, and it's a beautiful day. Well. I just don't understand it.


Gaear Grimsrud:
You're a smooth smoothie, you know?


Airport Lot Attendant:
There's a minimum charge of four dollars; long-term parking charges by the day.
Carl Showalter:
I guess you think you're... you know, like an authority figure, with that stupid fuckin' uniform, huh buddy? King clip-on-tie there, big fuckin' man, huh? You know these are the limits of your life, man. The rule of your little fuckin' gate here. Here's your four dollars, you pathetic piece of shit.